Insults and comebacks. (2011)

yo.

so...

i'm  really poor at snapping back at people.

except to my mom i guess. (but you know how that is..)

its always like...

i figure out something to say like an hour after the; "a-snap-would-be-really-appropriate-right-now" moment.


so..

in a world full of flaws i bought an educational book.


its called "insults and comebacks".

and i carry it around everywhere i go.


and now, i always have something to say.

i even shortened the comeback time back to like one or two minutes tops.

(i just need to look it up in the comeback book first)



and i was thinking....


i should share my newly adapted knowledge to you.


so...

here's a list of my favorite comebacks and insults for different occasions:

ugly:

- I've had a lot to drink... and you still don't look good.
- so.. your the kid that made a silly face, and stayed that way?

fat:

- as a matter of fact, you DO look fat in those pants.

skinny:

- bitch!

short:

- your so short, you could model for trophies.
- my neck hurts from insulting you.

old:

- its time to start acting your age - old.

dumb:

- your so dumb, you think a lawsuit is something you wear to court.

smarty pants:

- why don't you just join Mensa, and call it a day?

assholes:

- if i wanted to hear from an asshole, i'd fart.

douchebags:

- you'r the reason God created the middle finger.

i may be fat, but your ugly... and i can always diet...



iloveyou!