Sun. (2012)

yo.

its sun out.

and of course i get my hopes up.

please let it be summer SOON!

it's time. (1989)

at certain points in your life you discover some facts about yourself.

like some smart people say: you learn as you live.


up until now i just lived.

and thought that the learning part would come naturally.


until it hit me in the face.

or i guess its called backfire.

yea... i think the learning part really backfired.


I've always thought that i would realize i was adult when i got there.


but today someone told me to grow up.

(thanks to my insults and comebacks book, i got to say what i felt about the grow up comment.)

so, instead of thinking about a good comeback the rest of the night.

i started realizing some amazing undiscovered facts about myself.


like...

im 23 years old. (i never planned to get older than 18)

i have NO money. (because i spent it all on wine and sandwiches)

im studying something i can't use for nothing.

i owe 20 000 in collegedebt.

and my ultimate goal in life is to get retired !?!



i think I'm growing up...



NIGHTMARE!!!

Insults and comebacks. (2011)

yo.

so...

i'm  really poor at snapping back at people.

except to my mom i guess. (but you know how that is..)

its always like...

i figure out something to say like an hour after the; "a-snap-would-be-really-appropriate-right-now" moment.


so..

in a world full of flaws i bought an educational book.


its called "insults and comebacks".

and i carry it around everywhere i go.


and now, i always have something to say.

i even shortened the comeback time back to like one or two minutes tops.

(i just need to look it up in the comeback book first)



and i was thinking....


i should share my newly adapted knowledge to you.


so...

here's a list of my favorite comebacks and insults for different occasions:

ugly:

- I've had a lot to drink... and you still don't look good.
- so.. your the kid that made a silly face, and stayed that way?

fat:

- as a matter of fact, you DO look fat in those pants.

skinny:

- bitch!

short:

- your so short, you could model for trophies.
- my neck hurts from insulting you.

old:

- its time to start acting your age - old.

dumb:

- your so dumb, you think a lawsuit is something you wear to court.

smarty pants:

- why don't you just join Mensa, and call it a day?

assholes:

- if i wanted to hear from an asshole, i'd fart.

douchebags:

- you'r the reason God created the middle finger.

i may be fat, but your ugly... and i can always diet...



iloveyou!